However, I do not profess myself to be Christian. I was raised with certain values I never thought would be that important to uphold but here I am today living them as much as possible because I am constantly disappointed by what I see around me.

As a child growing up in Singapore, I was sheltered and my parents chose not to tell me some facts for my own good. They were right or they are right because I think I would have turned out differently.

As an adult living in the Philippines, I see everything without restraint and I do not even know where to begin to describe my emotions about the reality of life as it is today. There are so many Christians here perhaps in protest of how the Catholic community has evolved locally. I understand why they are Christians but I do not see the point in embracing another religion or becoming a Protestant because the Roman Catholic Faith doesn’t have any fault in the first place except the people who proclaim themselves to be Catholic yet tweak very clear rules to their convenience. A religion fills the gap between the definition of being human and perfection. A religion supposedly finds the answers to a predictably unhappy and/or discontented life. However, in my opinion, the people around me find those answers in ways that only satisfy them immediately, temporarily, and at the expense of other lives. As a consequence, we have only made situations worse because they brought misfortune, greed or harm upon other human beings. I believe we all have to move forward together though some may be more advanced.

Though I usually embrace absolute conditions, because of who we are and what we actually do, there can never be absolute freedom. Where loyalty is an absolute quality, there can only be freedom in moderation because I do not have the faith, the type of faith needed in people to leave them to do what is “right”.

I find myself tempted to make clear certain definitions but that will take too long here and so I leave that for another day. As a complicated individual, I am trying to unclutter and summarize my existence to one thing: As long as my family is happy, healthy, and united towards similar goals wherever they may be, I’m happy. That is all.

I sympathize with your reaction to such a shallow compliment by a stranger. I probably would have reacted in much the same way. In fact, I feel that many of the sentiments you expressed in this entry reflect what I might have written many, many, years ago. Your description of your mother sounds very much like my dad. If I may be so bold as to venture a conjecture based on what you wrote in this entry, I would guess that you take after your mother more than you do your father.

Ten years ago, I think I would have shared very much the same sentiments: no mistakes allowed, nothing short of perfection expected. I wanted myself to be the best so that I could expect the best in return. Maybe I still thought that way five years ago. I don’t know. But I do know that I have learnt much since then, and I no longer have quite the same attitude toward life.

I’m not saying that anyone should settle for mediocrity. And setting certain standards is definitely a good idea, especially concerning your future mate. But don’t set too many. Since you profess to be Christian, I want to remind you of something: God works in mysterious ways, but His ways are always better than ours. And Jesus neither expected nor commanded perfection from us. Perfection was never a prerequisite for His love. Our God is a God who can work through any mistakes anyone has ever made, and any sins anyone has ever committed. So don’t hedge yourself in like that.

Jesus died so that we would have the chance to be with God, to know Him, and to love Him. He accepted and forgave us long before any of us ever even realized we had sinned. That is love.

If we look upon people with disdain because of their mistakes and sins, are we really loving them? If Jesus had demanded perfection from any one of us before He would love us, before He would die for us, then He wouldn’t have had to die for anyone, because 1) nobody would fit the bill, and 2) if anyone was perfect, then that person wouldn’t have needed to be saved.

Much of the time, if not most or all of the time, the people who deserve love the least really, really are the ones who need love the most. If it hadn’t been for Jesus’ love, I would never have realized, much less acknowledged, that I was a sinner, even from birth. The best way, if not the only way, to change a person for the better is through love.

Nobody is perfect. And nobody on earth will “fit” you, or me, like “Cinderella’s glass slipper”. It is unreasonable to expect this perfection from anyone on earth. The only perfect bridegroom that any one of us might have is Jesus. And He is that “one man” that you need. And yes, He is waiting for you.

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