Phylogenesis

This afternoon, I thought about what someone wrote in his books (or at least what I think he wrote because they were written in French) about architecture, mathematics, ancient civilization etc. all brought together to present his opinions. Nothing makes me ask more questions than the past especially as we stretch back to thousands or millions of years ago. How did it all really begin? There so many of us in this world to know there are so many possibilities concerning a human’s origin and death. This brings us to the topic of phylogeny or the evolutionary development and history of a species. Humans are such a young species and still very limited in facility despite our level of intelligence. No one has all the answers. Even if we put all our heads together to find answers, we wouldn’t be able to. Time machines make me feel even more frustrated because they are just fiction and an impossibility at the moment. Limitations, limitations, limitations! …knowing there is nothing you can do about it or that your own intelligence is only capable of understanding so much (or so little?)

Then, we also never live long enough to find out or witness the wondrous progress that mankind has made. Of course, there history is always made but we never get to hang around long enough to relish a victory or achievement. Then, the fascination with eschatology begins (again) – the branch of theology that is concerned with the end of the world or of humankind – that just serves to urge my curiosity even more. It is a bit sad to know I am just an ordinary being whose existence is only a tiny particle or atom in this universe. Why do we really even have to exist? Why am I in this body? Why am I in a woman’s body? Why am I Asian? Why I feel all these emotions, most of which I hide or risk being taken for a lunatic. Does anybody really have answers for final things such as death, the Last Judgment, Heaven, Hell, and the ultimate destiny of humankind? Religion was created to keep humans tamed, convinced of a “purpose”. Roman Catholicism has filled up some void but I do not know enough of it nor do I have the time to consider it as my path of enlightenment and tranquility of motion and emotion. However, it accounts for several pieces of this jigsaw puzzle that is my life. Can I blame it then for partly making me the way I am or how I think?   Do I accept the fact that though I did not ask to be born into this world, that I am unentitled to answers?